I know it takes seven years for our cells to change
so I started last Thursday the train
was pregnant with stillness and groceries so
do you know what I thought? I wondered
and then I thought I would be sick
with the sound of your feet against hardwood
coming to sweep up twisted spine
with that thing you always say and the way you always
say it you say you’ll get it right next time
thinking it’s my fault so I read some June Jordan
poems caught you hiding in the margins begging
to be swallowed got off two stops early nauseous
later that night I’m so anxious I knit
two rows of a scarf it’s so ugly I fall asleep