I am taking my mom to court because she never lets me go on field trips. The judge rules in my favor. The child is always right, she says. My mom throws a lollipop at Judge Judy’s face. The sheriff peels the sucker to reveal that Judge Judy is really Judy Garland.
Susan Sarandon bumps into me at the cafe. She is with her two sons, a basket and a cow. I only come here to kill the time, I tell her. I’m here to find a slice of life, she whispers. I am going to play Mother Goose. Her eyes get large as eggs, Don’t tell anyone I’m here and don’t take my kids.
I am on a gondola, staring at the sunset. When I open my mouth a lady’s operatic voice comes out. I yawn and a note of doom fills the streets. A disastrous quake hits Rome. I reach for my chocolate martinis but they’re gone. I think the diva drank them.
Angelika Film Center
I break through the long lines and beg the usher to let me in. What show are you watching? It’s the film of my life, I cry out. And I think the wrong person is playing me. When I get to the theater, the audience does not recognize me. I find a fresh cup of popcorn and save it for dinner.
The tooth fairy is wearing a bomber jacket & jeans. Are you gay, I ask him. No, he says. I’m a fairy. I offer to buy some teeth from him. For a dollar I get a grab bag. Those are my baby teeth, I tell him. Then you can just have them, he says and disappears.