Laura Spagnoli: Celebrity Dream

I’m at a script meeting with writer/producer Jenji Kohan
when she asks me to write a scene for Weeds. We have no
pen or paper so I sketch some ideas using white‐out on a
bunch of empty potato chip bags. The actors are in the room
with us and some type of Hollywood Magic compels them to
say every word simultaneously as we write it. This allows us
to hear if the dialogue is good. I decide to create a scene
starring Kevin Nealon, who plays a stoner accountant. The
idea I have is that a beautiful woman will knock on his door.
When he opens the door, he will be struck by the woman’s
beauty and exclaim, “Abbondanza!” which is Italian for
“abundance” and also an advertising slogan for Celeste
Frozen Pizza. It’s a double‐entrendre and I’m only getting
started. As I scrawl the word in white‐out, Kevin Nealon
automatically exclaims, “Abbondanza!” from across the
room. I laugh. I am convinced this scene will be hilarious.

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