A girl in Minnesota was put on a diet. For her mother’s satisfaction she had to eat a miserable regimen of pickled beets, salted crackers, and cottage cheese. It didn’t help that, on the diet’s second day—which drew out even longer than the first—the girl was given the nickname “Thundering Tits.” It wasn’t the conscientious mother who gave her this name, but the girl’s aunt. In fact, the aunt’s whole family had arrived at the girl’s Minnesota farmhouse, seemingly to tell her just that. “Thundering Tits, that’s our name for you,” this cocky aunt said, “So you’d better stick to that diet.” The girl blinked a sad blink and replied, “Who came up with this name?” To which the aunt replied, “My husband.” The girl’s uncle stood blushing. “Did you agree to this?” the aunt asked, smiling at her two daughters. One giggled gleefully and the other quietly slipped off.
On day five, the girl felt faint and gnawed to death with hunger. In religion class, her teacher gave a speech. He discussed slavery and all the evils it presented. He then wondered aloud how slavery in America could have been avoided. When he stopped talking, the girl stood upon her desk. She proclaimed, “I have a solution to life’s problems. Everyone should be made blind. I’ll put my own eyes out, just to prove it.”
All eyes were on her, horrified.
“Why would you say such a thing?” the disturbed teacher said. “Because being blind solves the problem of both slavery and diets,” she replied. The teacher and classmates were left to puzzle over her meaning as she stepped down and walked out, presumably to the nurse’s office for a rest. However, her victory of idealism was short-lived. People forgot the strange and shocking comment and went on as always.